The Science of ‘Us’

Interracial couples often face unique social pressures – from strangers’ stares to family disapproval – and two new studies from U of T Mississauga shed light on how these stresses affect the relationship. One study finds that social disapproval can heighten jealousy in interracial couples, while another shows how the cultural sacrifices partners make to bridge differences in upbringing, values and traditions have both positive and negative consequences. Together, the studies suggest that building a strong, shared identity as a couple can help partners weather challenges and deepen their connection.

Vikki Pham knows these pressures firsthand. In one of her relationships, she faced a lot of external disapproval and found herself feeling unusually threatened by potential romantic rivals – a reaction her own research now helps explain.

“We found that people in interracial relationships report experiencing jealousy more often and more intensely and had bigger worries about possible rivals than people in same-race relationships,” says Pham (BSc 2024), the lead author of the study, with psychology professor Emily Impett, the director of the Relationships and Well-Being Laboratory at U of T Mississauga. The study surveyed about 400 participants – mostly heterosexual and married or engaged – from Canada and the United States.

Previous research has shown that people with an “anxious attachment style” (a characteristic of which is fear of being left by a partner) are more likely to be jealous. So, Pham and her research team assessed individuals’ attachment styles to make sure they were taking this into account when assessing experiences of jealousy. This led to a key finding: interracial partners report greater attachment anxiety than same-race partners.

To better understand why, Pham and her team looked at participants’ experiences of social disapproval. Not surprisingly, says Pham, social disapproval is more common in interracial partners, and it predicts higher attachment anxiety. “We reasoned that social disapproval primes them to be vigilant of outsiders to the relationship, which may extend toward possible romantic rivals.”

One of the important takeaways from Pham’s study, according to Impett, is that experiencing more jealousy in an interracial relationship does not necessarily signal a problem between partners. “Rather,” she says, “it may reflect the added stress of being in a relationship that’s often judged or questioned by others.”

The researchers identified a protective factor in interracial relationships that can mitigate the harmful effects of this stress and reduce jealousy. “When people had a strong couple identity – a sense of unity and being a team – it buffered against the impact of jealousy on relationship satisfaction,” says Pham.

The lab’s second recent study, led by PhD student Hanieh Naeimi, focuses on another stress in interracial partnerships. This research explores “cultural sacrifices” – the negotiations, adjustments and trade-offs people make to manage cultural differences in their intimate lives.

“All relationships require some kind of sacrifice, yet couples from different cultural backgrounds often have to make some compromises related to their cultural identities and upbringings,” says Naeimi. Nearly 600 people in intercultural relationships from Canada, the United States and the United Kingdom – mostly female, white and in their 30s – participated in the study.

The participants revealed that cultural sacrifices can lead to challenges and a sense of lost identity, but also to personal growth and stronger relationships. “Several respondents talked about the difficulties of acting as a translator for their partner when their families visited, or feeling left out of conversations at family events,” says Naeimi. Others saw language differences as an opportunity to learn something new.

Respondents also said that being exposed to new foods, cultural celebrations and religions could be rewarding, while navigating gender role expectations or managing prejudice from a partner’s family could be stressful.

The individuals in the study who found ways to create a sense of togetherness with their partner that honoured both of their cultural backgrounds were more likely to feel connected and satisfied in their relationships. This finding points to one of the studies’ key results. “Even though we focused on different kinds of challenges, the takeaway is the same,” says Impett. “Building a strong, shared sense of ‘we’ can help couples navigate the emotional ups and downs that come with being in a relationship that sits outside the cultural mainstream.”

Naeimi says this insight has practical applications. “If couples’ therapists are aware of the cultural sacrifices people make, they can help partners navigate the relationship complexities. But this research is also about validating intercultural relationships, and showing people they’re not alone.”

The researchers say there is societal value in this new, more nuanced understanding of cultural sacrifices and the benefits and drawbacks in intercultural relationships. “Cultural sacrifices can lead to the blending of cultures within families, which can create positive change in society,” Naeimi says.

Pham agrees, and looking back now on her earlier relationships, wishes she’d had this knowledge. “An ‘us against the world’ attitude could have helped shield us against the outside forces.”