The Art of the Ask

Few of us will ever find ourselves at the negotiating table hammering out a trade deal or brokering a peace settlement. But on a smaller scale, negotiation skills can be just as valuable – whether you’re asking for a raise or buying a home. So, how can you improve your chances of success? We turned to Geoffrey Leonardelli, a professor at the Rotman School of Management, for expert advice.

Ask for what you want

It sounds simple, yet many people hesitate, fearing they’ll derail the deal entirely. The problem? We tend to overestimate this risk. Leonardelli points to “zero-sum beliefs” – the mistaken idea that the more we want something, the less the other side will be willing to give it. In reality, interests often align. Take salary negotiations: we might hesitate to ask for more, not realizing just how much an employer wants us – or wants to keep us.

Pose questions that will reveal the other side’s intention

Many people go into negotiations focused only on what they want. But understanding the other side’s priorities can give you an edge. Leonardelli suggests asking “why”-type questions to uncover what matters most. Maybe a hiring manager has a tight salary budget but more flexibility with vacation time, or a seller values a fast closing date over a higher offer. By identifying these priorities, you can craft a proposal that benefits both sides, increasing the chances of a successful outcome.

Give your counterpart a choice

Negotiations don’t have to be about making an offer, receiving a counteroffer and then going back and forth. Leonardelli suggests a different approach: present two offers at the same time. As long as you’d be happy with either outcome, offering a choice can make the other party feel more in control, strengthen the relationship and lead to a better result for both sides. This tactic is known as MESO – short for “multiple equivalent simultaneous offers.”